Waiter, about to reveal that the poor groom’s bride is a whore: Oh you haven’t heard?
the number of people making comments on this post about how there’s nothing wrong with being a whore is far too high like i’m not trying to shame people who are promiscuous or sex workers this is a fucking reference to a song and if you dont understand the reference dont reblog with some idiotic trying too hard to be progressive shit its literally a joke about a lyric from a song it was never, and never will be, that fucking deep. if you dont get the reference literally just shut up and dont reblog this post oh my god
by fall out boy
I dont know what’s funnier the people getting offended because they don’t get the panic reference or the people getting offended because they don’t get the fall out boy joke
Comprehension of this post is what defines the Millennial / Gen Z generational boundary.
Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….
Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).
which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide
shove a vase up your ass
not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls
i call it the matterhorn
cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through
i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises
of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”
I call this one the Megahorny
Just cram an entire table lamp up there
Me every time this post crosses my dash:
My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.
Plate.
I’d usually post this to my NSFW blog but this is making me laugh so unreasonably hard that I can’t fucking breathe and therefore deserves to be on my main blog
Compiling some of the best ones from the replies-
How you gonna do us like that bruh???
ITS BACK
M U S H R O O M
en garde
i guess this is the long post all the gays are collectively reblogging today huh
Idk how to work it on mobile which makes me sad
This this fucking terrible thing just killed me
I was just scrolling and my friend asked why I was dying and i just had shown them this.
They are scared of me i think
HAHWHWHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSHESUAIJ
this needs to be on yalls dash
LMFAOOOOOO OMG IM FUCKING DIEING
The humanity’s creative spirit really knows no boundary
The humanity’s
creative spirit really
knows no boundary
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Reblogging this glory for later-
THIS POST CAME OUT OF LEFT FIELD ON MY DASH, I AM FUCKING DYING OF LAUGHTER
I showed this post to my boyfriend and he tried to take his shirt off like a girl and
uh
yeah
Out of the 82k notes my post got this is by far the best comment holy shit thank u for being u
So i tried it both ways and uh
i mean how do you do the first one without pulling out all your hair?
this made me laugh really hard….
and it made me realize that girls and boys pull their shirt off differently. /amazed
but seriously I think girls just do the cross arm thing because of HAIR like demonstrated
So one year, one URL change, and a hair cut later, I decide to try again… FOR SCIENCE!
Its not science unless you write it down so
First method:
Well done, i guess…
Second:
I fucked up
Girls… how?
I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW WE CAN HAVE SUCH DIFFERENT WAYS OF TAKING OFF SHIRTS AND SO MUCH DIFFICULTY DOING IT THE OTHER WAY
I FIGURED IT OUT!!!!!
It’s all in the way that girl/boys shirts are made.
Girls shirts have less armpit room then boy’s do and are generally shorter so pulling it off over your head is more practical because by lifting your arms all the way up you make enough room for the sleeves to just slip off.
Boys shirts have more room and are generally longer so it is easy to slip them off over your head.
but if you take a girls shirt off like a boys shirt you will get your arms caught because there isn’t much armpit space.
and if you take a boys shirt off like a girls shit you will still have your head in it when you’ve lifted your arms all the way up because of the shirt’s length.
It has nothing to do with us. It is entirely to do with how our shirts are made. I figured it out for you. YOU’RE WELCOME!
bless you
look what is back on my dash. Jesus.
This came back but with ACTUAL SCIENCE you are the saviour of our generation
I have no words
I seriously just needed this
This deserves the 1 million+ notes it has.
Literally tumblr broke from sll the science
OK, there’s a lot of people who’ve seen way more stuff on here than I have, but that is NOT a normal glitched gif…
ovbiously this person has done so much research and cares about their tortoise so much but…. the mf idea of having a live tortoise in a TUPPERWARE?! IN MY FRIDGE?? WITH ME FOOD? ahahahaha
the concept of opening someone else’s fridge only to find a WHOLE ASS TORTOISE in there… idk if I’d ever recover
@esperantoauthor when the food doesn’t come to Tesla, Tesla comes to the food
Reminds me of when I accidentally stumbled across this photo for the first time…
mutuals put me in your fridge
Back in 2015, I went over to a classmate’s house for group project work late in the fall, and in the middle of working on the presentation, offered to grab sodas for people but they were out of pepsi and Andrew whose house we were at said “Oh, there’s more in the basement fridge.”
So I go down to the basement, which is well-lit and finished and indeed there are more pepsi but also in the fridge is a massive tortise. This animal was the dimensions of a desktop computer and probably outweighed a labrador. It’s not moving, and is set in the middle of a plastic tray so it’s apparently supposed to be there. I go back upstairs.
“Hey Andrew.” I say, nonchalantly. “So is the tortise in the fridge down there for soup or what?”
“The what?” says the other member of the group project. I don’t remember her name, just that she always wore her hair in pigtails with butterfly clips that were based on real butterflies and she had at least a dozen species.
“Oh! No, that’s Andrew Too.” he says. “His species hibernates so he stays in the fridge for the holidays.”
“You named your tortise after you?” I ask.
“No, uh- Well, my grandfather got him in Egypt or somewhere while he was on leave during the war and He was named Andrew, so he thought it would be funny to name him ‘Andrew Too’. …Then Mom named me after him so Gandpa left me Andrew Too in his will. He’s pretty cool when he’s awake. Lets us dress him up for summer holidays, doesn’t bark.”
“Oh!” Said Butterflies. “My dad served in the Gulf War too! What unit was he in?”
“Oh no, Grandpa was with the Royal Air Force in World War Two. Andrew Too is going to be 70 this year! We’re going to make him a carrot cake!”
This is magenta, and not pink. Unlike pink, magenta doesn’t actually exist. Our brain just invents magenta to serve as what it considers a logical bridge between red and violet, which each exist at opposite ends of a linear spectrum.
TL;DR this color is fake (and also I hate it)
w
what
im
Wait til you learn about Stygean Blue
Your brain is a badly-designed hot mess of bootstrapped chemistry that will tell you that all kinds of shit is happening that has no correlation to physical reality, including time travel. It just makes things up. Your brain is guessing about what’s happening when your eyes saccade, what’s happening in your blind spot, and what the majority of the visible light spectrum looks like, and you don’t know it’s happening because it doesn’t aid your survival to become aware that a lot of what you see is fake.
The human eye only has three types of color sensitive cones, which detect red, blue, and green light. Your brain is making up every other color you perceive.
Let’s have a little fun with that thought. This is the visible spectrum of light.
You will of course note that yellow is on the chart. Yellow has a discreet wavelength, and is therefore a distinct physical color. But we can’t see it.
“Sorry, what the fuck?”
What we call yellow is just what our brain shrugs and spits out when our red and green cones are equally stimulated. We have light receptors that can pick up on the physical spectrum of light we call yellow: that’s why yellow things don’t just look like moving black blocks to us. But your brain has no fucking idea what the color yellow looks like.
Some animals have eyes that can perceive the color yellow! Goldfish have a yellow cone in their eyes. If they could talk, they could tell us what yellow looks like. But we wouldn’t be able to understand it.
What your brain actually sees of the color spectrum:
We can measure the wavelength of light, so we know that when we see ‘yellow,’ we are seeing light in that 550-ish nanometers range. But we don’t have a cone in our eyes that can pick that up. Your brain just has a very consistent guess about what color that wavelength of light could be. We decided to name that guess ‘yellow.’ We can’t imagine what yellow really looks like any more than a dog can imagine the color red.
Here’s the funny thing: your brain is never perceiving just one photon of light at a time. Something like 2*10⁸ photons per second are hitting your retina under normal conditions. Your brain doesn’t individually process all of them. So it averages them out. It grabs a bunch of photons all coming from the same direction, with the same pattern, and goes, “yeah, that cup is blue, fuck it, next.”
That’s how colors blend in our eyes. So sure, if a photon of light with a wavelength of 550 nanometers bounces into our eyes, we see what we call “yellow.” But if we see two photons at the same time, coming from the same object, one of which is 500 nms and the other of which is 600 nms, your brain will average them out and you will still see yellow even though none of the light you just saw was 550 nms.
So how does magenta factor into this?
Well, as we’ve just established, when your brain sees light from two different slices of the visible light spectrum, it will try to just average them together. Green plus red is yellow, fuck it. If it’s more red than green, we’ll call that ‘orange.’ Literally who gives a shit, we’re trying to forage over here. There are bears out here and it’s so scary.
What happens if you take the average of blue and red light, which we perceive to be magenta? What’s the centerpoint of that line?
Fucking green.
Hey, that’s not gonna work? We live on a planet where EVERYTHING IS GREEN. If something is NOT green, that means it’s either food, or a potential source of danger, and either way your brain wants you to know about it.
So your brain goes, WHOOPS. Okay - this is fine. We already made up yellow, orange, cyan, and violet. We’ll just make up another color. Something that looks really, really different from green.
And so it made up magenta.
So, physics-wise, is magenta “real?”
No; there’s no single wavelength of light that corresponds to magenta. But you’re rarely seeing only a single wavelength of light anyway. And even when you are, every color other than RGB is a dart thrown on the wall by your meat computer. This is the CIE Chromaticity Diagram:
Explaining this thing is a little more than I want to take on on a Saturday morning, but I’ve included a link above that goes into it a little more. The point is that only the colors that actually touch the ‘outline’ of the shape actually correspond to a specific wavelength of light. All of the other colors are blends of multiple wavelengths. So magenta isn’t special.
Given that color is just a fun trick your brain is playing on you to help you find food and avoid danger, is magenta real?
Yeah, absolutely. Or at least, it’s just as real as most of what we see. It’s what we see when we mix up blue and red. It would be disastrous from a survival standpoint to perceive that color as green, so we don’t. Because it’s not green. Light that’s green has a wavelength of around 510 nm. Stuff that’s magenta bounces back light that is both ~400 and ~700. Your brain knows the difference. So it fills in the gap for you, with the best guess it has, same as it does with your blind spot.
The perception of color exists within your brain, and your brain says you see magenta. So you see magenta.
On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face.
THIS JOINT!!!!
BITCHHHHHHH. I got on this shit when I was 12. Wasn’t no bar, no protection, nothing in that shit. I didn’t realize until it was too late. You couldn’t pay me to ever get on this shit ever again in my life. We were in Landover, this shit almost smooth flipped my ass to Baltimore. No. Never again.
12? I got on this bitch when I was 21 and had my head in my ex’s shoulder the ENTIRE time. Screaming like a bih too. Nope. Never again. I was praying to the gravity gods the entire time.
?????? All it does is swing back and forth???? I don’t understand the concern??????
centrifugal force keeps you in your seat.
Centrifugal force isn’t keeping me from crying tho
It kind of really confuses me when Barbie commercials have little girls dressing them up and brushing their hair Like no Barbie is not about fashion. Barbie is about collecting as many dolls as you can get your grubby 7 year old hands on and dominating the living room with your expansive empire of plastic women. Barbie is about creating intricate social structures and spicy inter-family conflicts between town house residents. Barbie is about formulating complex back stories for tortured Ken dolls with emotional scars. It’s about creating near-sadistic dramatic plot twists that split up marriages and cause that one Barbie you really dislike to be ceremoniously tossed down the stairs in order to be offed by the jealous ex-wife of Ken #4.
Yes, but how do you make it into a marketable commercial that won’t freak parents and caregivers out?
I’ve always had the impression that advertisers don’t really understand how girls play with their toys.
When I played with Barbies I had this thing called “The Dead Pit” which was a purple bratz laundry hamper. So whenever a Barbie got killed off she would go in there. And what I would do was I would carry her to the dead pit while singing the dead pit song. The dead pit song was just saying “The dead pit” over and over again in different tones. Anyway, once I finally reached the pit I would announce “(name) has died.” And drop her in. I would wait a few moments. Then, I would violently shake the hamper while shrieking, pretending to be the tortured souls of dead barbies from the underworld. I thought it was hilarious.
This is and will always remain one of my favorite stories on Tumblr.
If anyone wants to know which languages I have represented so far:
These mostly reflect my own interests so if you’re missing a particular language I can try and find it but the lack of variety stems pretty much just from the fact that this is my personal collection.
I have added Romanian, Portuguese, Finnish, Cherokee and Cantonese
I’m just super fucking bitter that once the flint water crisis got it’s 15 minutes of fame people stopped giving a shit. The water is still poisoned, people! Donations have plummeted and people have been forced back into drinking and bathing with the water! The medical effects of this are astounding, cases of legionnaires disease have skyrocketed, people are having seizures, people are having weird rashes break out over their body, people (including me!) are having their blood poisoned, and it’s not just lead! it’s coliform bacteria! it’s THMs! it’s all in the water and it gets into the bloodstream and breaks down blood vessels, causing bruising and petechiae and internal bleeding and no one gives a shit anymore and it’s only gotten worse like how many people are going to have to die until people realize this is still a problem
I would like to add that the people of Flint cannot sell their houses, because selling a house with leaded water is illegal. Additionally, households with children can’t stop paying for the water because living in a house without running water is cause for CPS to take their kids. Flint has been living this way for over two years.
Mari Copeny has taken the initiative to create a water filter. I’ve linked her GoFundMe that’s she using to raise money for it. She’s been able to raise $50k in donations but her next goal is $1 million
Water is a basic human right, it says a lot about governments that fail to provide that. Especially for a so called ‘first world country’
Everything about this is so fucking funny. The song. The chubby dances. The way he just gets fucking KIDNAPPED. The presentation of the guy in the white shirt in the picture when he returns. This is my favorite post.
listen, when i go to open my mouth & what comes out is 12 degrees of seperation from what the original topic was, u need to connect the dots bitch. think fast. i’m not gonna hold ur hand but we’re leaving now and visiting every topic along the line. wave it goodbye, don’t get hung up on it
